


As Far As I Can Tell

by mihomi98



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-20
Updated: 2015-04-20
Packaged: 2018-03-25 00:27:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3789814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mihomi98/pseuds/mihomi98
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What do you do when the one you love can't even look you in the eye anymore? Do you stay with him, or do you decide it's over? Draco/Harry</p><p>Repost from fanfiction.net. Written in 2009.</p>
            </blockquote>





	As Far As I Can Tell

It was a chilly spring day, and two boys were laying under a tree, staring up at the gold and red leaves above them. Both boys were in their 7th year of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, one a brave Gryffindor, the other a conniving Slytherin. It was the last few weeks before graduation. The boys had been together for a little over a year now, and nearly everyone had accepted it.

Harry Potter looked over at his boyfriend, a Mr. Draco Malfoy. He asked the question that had been haunting his mind and blocking his sleep for days. "Hey, Dray?"

"Hmmm?"

"Do you love me?"

Draco looked up sharply, the question catching him off guard. He searched Harry's face. "What?"

Harry sighed before asking again. "I said, do you love me?" He looked at Draco, his eyes pleading for the answer he was hoping for.

Draco looked at him briefly before planting his gaze firmly on the ground. "Of course I do."

Harry nodded, his face sullen. "Okay."  _He can't even look me in the eyes anymore..._ Harry thought to himself.  _Great. Guess I know what's going to happen._  He looked over again before standing. "I have to... go do my homework. I'll see you later. Bye, Draco." He turned and walked away before Draco could respond, leaving Draco to stare confused at his retreating boyfriend.

DHDHDHDHDHDHDHDH

"HERMIONE!"

Hermione looked up from her essay to see Harry in front of her, sadness evident on his face. She jumped up and hugged her friend, hold him tight. "What happened, Harry? What's wrong?"

"I think me and Draco are going to break up," he mumbled into Hermione's shoulder. "He won't even look me in the eyes! What did I do wrong?"

Hermione pulled Harry over to a couch, urging him to sit down. Once he was seated, Harry pulled his legs up to his chest and hid his head into them, his shaggy brown hair spilling messily onto his jeans. "Hon, you didn't do anything wrong. Draco Malfoy is just a prick who doesn't deserve your feelings."

Harry's head shot up and his face darkened into a glare. "Don't say that, Hermione. He's been my boyfriend for over a year, and I'm still in love with him. He just doesn't feel the same way back..." his voice trailed off into a whisper as his face clouded over again. Hermione felt a stab of sympathy as she looked at her hurting best friend.

"Oh, Harry," she said as she pulled him into another hug. "Things will work out. I'm sure he still loves you."

"But you haven't seen him lately, 'Mione! He doesn't act the same around me at all! He doesn't hug me as tightly, he doesn't kiss me as much, and I don't think he even cares that I exist."

"Have you told Mal- Draco any of this?" Harry shook his head violently. "Why not?"

"I don't know how he'd take it."

Hermione sighed. "Harry, if he's not in love with you, then it's just going to hurt you more and more the longer you two are together. Maybe it'd be better if you just ended things with him."

"But... but I don't want to. Even though he doesn't love me I don't want things to go back to how they were before we got together. That would kill me, Hermione. It really would," Harry whispered, putting his head on Hermione's shoulder.

"Well, give it a little more time then. Figure out what's going on between the two of you." Harry nodded. "Well, if I go to bed, are you going to be alright?" Harry nodded again, so Hermione kissed Harry on the cheek and stood up. "Okay. Goodnight, then. Sleep well."

DHDHDHDHDHDH

The next morning, Harry got up and went to the Great Hall with Ron. Harry was quiet as they walked.

"You okay, Harry?" Ron asked, looking over at his friend, concerned. Harry was never this quiet in the mornings, he was usually rambling nonstop about Draco.

"Yeah, just didn't sleep well," Harry said. Technically he wasn't lying. He wasn't able to sleep because all he could think about was him and Draco, and where everything went wrong. The boys went silent again. When they entered the hall, Harry kept his eyes forward, refusing to look at the Slytherin table where he knew his boyfriend would already be dining. He felt Draco's eyes on him as he stared blankly at the wood of the Gryffindor table.

Ron nudged Harry. "Harry, Malfoy keeps trying to get your attention. You going to look at him?" Harry shook his head. "Did something happen between you guys? Is that why you were so quiet this morning?"

"You know what, I'm not hungry. I'll see you later, Ron," Harry said before rushing out of the Great Hall. He was no more than ten feet out the door when he felt familiar arms wrap around his waist.

"Morning, babe," Draco whispered in his ear. "How are you today?" Harry didn't say anything. Instead, he twisted his way out of Draco's arms and walked away.

"Huh? Harry, what's wrong?" Draco rushed forward and tried to grab Harry's arm.

"Don't talk to me right now, Draco." Harry sped off, once again leaving Draco confused. Draco heard footsteps behind him.

"Trouble with Potter?"

Draco turned around. "Piss off, Pans. I'm not in a joking mood right now."  
"Sorry," Pansy answered, rolling her eyes. "So what just happened?"

"I have no idea! He's pissed at me and doesn't want to talk to me," Draco said sadly. "What the hell did I do?"

"Who knows? He'll be over it by the time classes start. Then you two can be the happy perfect couple that we know and love again."

DHDHDHDHDHDH

As the day went on, Harry continued to avoid Draco like the plague. In every class that Draco and Harry had together, Harry sat as far as humanly possible from him. In Potions, where the boys were always partners, Harry quickly paired up with Neville as soon as Draco looked his way.

The more the day went on, the more depressed Draco steadily got. As dinner drew closer, he finally snapped. "Harry!" he yelled.

The green-eyed boy ignored him. Draco ran up to him and spun him around to face himself. "Why are you avoiding me? What did I do wrong?" Harry looked at the ground. "Please, Harry. Just tell me."

"Meet me tonight at the Astronomy Tower tonight at 8, okay? I'll talk to you about it then." Draco nodded, glad that things were going to be sorted out. As Draco leaned in to kiss Harry, Harry turned and bolted away from him. Draco sighed.  _What the hell is going on? Am I going to lose him?_

DHDHDHDHDHDH

As the clock chimed 8, Draco reached the Astronomy Tower. Harry wasn't there.  _Great. He blew me off. He must really be pissed at me._   _Wait... what's that?_  Draco looked over to the windowsill, and saw a red envelope that said  _Draco_  on the front of it. When Draco opened it, he heard his Harry's voice fill the room.

" **Draco:**

**Look, I know things aren't working with us. I get it. So, um, just listen to this song, okay? I... wrote it the other night, and... I guess I might as well play it for you, even though it's already over...**

__**As far as I can tell**  
We're near the end  
I know the feeling well  
So don't pretend

 __ **Another night alone**  
You're in my dreams  
Say it isn't so  
And never leave

__**Oh why do I have to let you go**  
I'll try to tell myself  
In time I'll fall in love with someone else 

__**This heart of mine, I know it well**  
It won't stay broken forever  
In time I'll pull myself together  
I'll be alright as far as I can tell

__**As far as I can see**  
There's no where left to turn  
We're never gonna be the way we were 

__**Oh why did I let you lead me on**  
You lied, you broke my heart  
You left me standing out here in the dark 

__**This heart of mine, I know it well**  
It won't stay broken forever  
I don't need your arms to run to  
I can learn to live without you

 __ **These eyes of mine, they finally see**  
You never really cared for me  
I'll pull myself together  
I'll be alright as far as I can tell

 __ **The saddest part of love is when you watch it walk away**  
There's nothing you can do  
Just try to hold on and be strong  
Someone else will surely come along

_**This heart of mine, I know it well  
It won't stay broken forever** _

__**One day soon I'll feel much better**  
Nothing ever lasts forever  
In time I'll pull myself together  
I'll be alright as far as I can tell

**God, Draco, this is so hard, but it's best for the both of us. My heart is breaking as I say this, but it's over. Things haven't been the same for a while, and it's just not working out. It's not like it used to be. I wish they were. Maybe you'll find someone who you'll love as much as I love you.**

**I guess we weren't meant to be, huh? Goodbye, Draco."**

Draco sat down, shaking like crazy. Loud sobs echoed off the tower walls as Draco's heart shattered into a million pieces, each and every piece breaking over and over, causing Draco more pain than he ever could have imagined. It hurt more than when his father beat him. More than watching his mother die. Even more than being crucio'd.

He sat against the wall sobbing well over an hour, until Pansy and Blaise came looking for him. When they found him, they were shocked. Draco was curled up on the floor, rivers of tears still flowing freely down his face. They ran to him as immediately picked him up off the floor.

"Oh, my God, Draco, what happened?" Pansy asked, grabbing her friend in a fierce hug. Draco gestured to the envelope that had been laying next to him on the floor. As Blaise opened the letter, Draco covered his ears. He couldn't bear to hear Harry's harsh words again. They were already burned in his mind, and he was trying to convince himself that it wasn't real. He and Harry were still happy, they were still together, and Draco's heart had yet to be broken. If he heard the words again, his happy daydream would come to an end, and Draco would once again be reminded of his pain.

"I'm going to kill that bastard..." Blaise muttered. Pansy nodded her head in agreement. Draco, staring blankly at nothing, made no comment. "He really hurt you, didn't he? Draco? Are you okay?"

Draco's eyes were glazed at he looked at his friends, and, with a sharp crashing sound, fell sideways into a dead faint. Pansy immediately panicked and shouted at the top of her lungs,

"HELP! WE NEED HELP! DRACO'S HURT!"

DHDHDHDHDHDH

A few days later Draco awake in the hospital wing, moonlight streaming in through the window.  _What happened...?_  he asked himself before he remembered. Once again he began to cry.

"What did I do wrong? I thought I was being a good boyfriend! I thought he wanted to be with me as much as I wanted to be with him! Why did everything have to go wrong? I thought we were going to last forever..." Draco trailed off, burying his head in his arms as he cried harder. "I love him so much..."

A soft  _thud_  was heard from a few feet away from Draco's bed. Draco's head shot up. "Who's there?" Nothing. "Must just be a mouse... Harry hated mice. Gods, Draco, you're so pathetic! Why'd you have to go an fall in love with him?! Malfoys aren't supposed to fall in love. If you didn't love him, you wouldn't be hurting like this." Another  _thud_  was heard. "What is that?!" A sigh. "Show yourself!" Slowly, a hand appeared, followed by a body. "Ha-Harry? What're you doing here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were okay," Harry said softly, not looking at Draco.

Draco's face hardened. "Why would you want to do that? You broke up with me, why would you care whether or not I'm okay?"

"Dray-"

"Don't call me that!"

Harry took a deep breath. "Draco- I love you. I always have. But..."

"But what? If you love me, why end things with me? I thought we were going to be together forever, Harry! I had this perfect dream of us being together! We were married and had adopted four children, two boys and two girls, just like you wanted! We had a house on a lake! You were a Healer, I made potions for St. Mungo's. We had everything we wanted but best of all, we were together and happy! Ever since we got together that's all that I've wanted. I thought that you wanted the same thing, but I guess I was wrong."

"Draco, I-"

"And I gave you my everything! Do you know how hard it was for me to do that? I'm not used to telling anyone anything! I totally trusted you!"

"I-"

"I don't see why you had to end things, wasn't everything going well? Weren't you happy with me? Didn't I-"

"YOU DIDN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!"

Draco's mouth dropped open. "Why the hell would you think that?"

"You weren't acting the same at all! You wouldn't hold me close anymore, you barely kissed me, you wouldn't even look me in the eye when I asked you if you loved me! That's a sure sign of lying, Draco. You probably would've broken up with me by graduation, anyway."

"I've always been in love with you! I couldn't look you in the eye because I was terrified. I've never felt this strongly about anyone before. I fall for you more and more everyday, and it scares me! You want to know what I was planning on doing on graduation? I was going to propose to you! I have the ring, see?" Draco grabbed his bag off of a chair by the bed, and pulled out a box. "Look!"

Harry opened the box and gasped. Inside was a gold band with the words, "I love you, Harry. Always have, always will." written around the outside.

"Shit, I- I'm sorry, Dray. I didn't know." Harry looked away, not wanting Draco to see the tears that were starting to form in his eyes. Draco did see, and his face softened.

"Come here, Harry." He held out his arms, and pulled Harry tight against him.  _This is what we're supposed to be like, me holding him like this until we die. We aren't supposed to be broken up._

"How can you hold me like this? Why don't you hate me?"

"I could never hate you, Harry. You're the love of my life!" Draco whispered into Harry's ear. "Gods, it hurt so much when you were avoiding me. I had no idea what I had done wrong, and suddenly you weren't even looking at me."

"I'm so sorry, Dray. I promise I'll never do something like this again. Um, do you want to be my boyfriend again? Please?" Harry looked hopefully at Draco.

"No." Harry's face fell, and he felt his heart break again. He could feel the tears starting to build again. "I want to be so much more than that."

"What? Even after everything, you still want to marry me?"

"Of course I do. So, Harry, will you? Marry me, I mean."

Harry buried his head into Draco's chest, nodding over and over. "Yes. God, Draco, yes. I love you so much."

"Me too, Harry. Me too."'


End file.
